Diana: The Musical, which premiered on Netflix a month before its Broadway opening, narrates the life of Princess Diana, incorporating history and music. Directed by Christopher Ashley and choreographed by Kelly Devine, Diana: The Musical retells the story of Diana, Princess of Wales — since she met Charles, the heir apparent to the British throne, at 19 until she died unexpectedly at 36. The two-hour musical also delves into the royal’s instant popularity, whirlwind romance, personal and public duties, physical, mental, and emotional well-being, and extramarital affairs and revelations.
Recalling the “dazzling yet devastating life” of Princess Diana, the show features the music and lyrics of Joe DiPietro, the author of the musical itself, and David Bryan, the keyboard player of the iconic rock band Bon Jovi. Since its completion in 2019, the show went through a year of workshop and another year of delay due to the pandemic. Finally, Diana: The Musical will be opening on November 17, 2021, with previews beginning November 2.
Below are all the songs of Diana: The Musical, ranked from worst to best.
This Is How Your People Dance
The song obviously wants to distinguish Charles from Diana. However, with lyrics like “The Russian plays on and on/ Like an endless telethon/ How I wish that he were Elton John,” Diana is just portrayed as juvenile and immature.
The Main Event
While “The Main Event” boasts a great production with the performers’ indubitable talent and a promising plot, repeatedly comparing Diana and Camilla’s confrontation with the Thrilla in Manila just because of a coincidental rhyme gravely discounts the situation.
The Words Came Pouring Out
Since this is essentially the moment to detail Diana’s marriage timeline, alongside her affairs and issues with the royal family, as expected, the track’s lyrics simply repeat what has already been mentioned throughout the musical. Thus, this almost five-minute performance does not add any depth to the story.
The Dress
The playful tune of “The Dress” showcases the level of friendship Paul and Diana have, perfectly introducing the now-iconic dress of Princess Diana. However, the song’s poor lyrics, especially the barrage of not-so-subtle profanities, renders it ineffective.
Happiness/ Simply Breathe
This six-minute medley would have been moving, but the lines “I’m holding our son/ So let me say jolly well done” sound off-putting. Additionally, the song also compresses Diana’s years of mental health struggles in a couple of minutes, thus failing to highlight the seriousness of her issues. It largely attempts to pack all the happy years of Charles and Diana’s marriage in a scene.
Pretty, Pretty Girl
Supposedly, “Pretty, Pretty Girl” marks Diana’s transition to a public figure using the media for her social causes. But as this song is performed halfway through the play, its melody sounds over-familiar and generic already, not to mention its seemingly rushed lyrics.
As I Love You
The inclusion of foreign translations of “I Love You” is fitting for a song begging for another chance. But lyrics like “Can they survive our royal horror show?” and “Serves me right for marrying a Scorpio” only water down the emotional impact Diana is going for.
Him And Her (And Him and Her)/ Just Dance
At this point, Charles’ affair with Camilla and Diana’s relationship with James have been established, but instead of taking a deeper stance, the song spouts surface-level and repetitive lyrics mostly referring to “Him And Her”.
Snap, Click
“Snap, Click” is a frightening foreshadowing of Princess Diana’s death, with the paparazzi hounding her everywhere she goes. Perhaps, the song also reflects how they work in real life, but referring to their job as “Better than a Guinness, better than a wank/ Snatch a few pics, it’s money in the bank” is another case of poor writing.
An Officer’s Wife
The expectations for a musical’s penultimate song are quite high, and since the story is closing, viewers are looking for impact. The track’s melody is in line with its military theme, but what sounds like an attempt to humanize Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II and relate her to Diana is droning on at best.
