While the objective of Mario Kart 8 is to come in first place in every race, some players find more joy in trolling their opponents. There is perhaps no better way to do so than building a terrible vehicle to race in. After all, beating one’s friends in what is objectively is the worst kart in the game is the ultimate flex.
However, building the worst kart in Mario Kart 8 can be a challenge. Oftentimes, what constitutes the slowest or fastest kart in Mario Kart 8 is dependent on the track being raced on: the straights of SNES Rainbow Road call for high speed, whereas the bends of the N64 Royal Raceway call for good acceleration. These two stats often work against each other, as higher speed characters and karts like Bowser and the Circuit Special Kart often have lower acceleration and vice versa.
Thus, to build the worst possible vehicle in Mario Kart 8, players must find a way to lower both speed and acceleration, making the vehicle practically useless on all racetracks. Lowering other stats like traction and handling comes as a bonus, as with these stats lower, players essentially can’t get anything going in a race. To actually accomplish making the worst kart in Mario Kart 8 thus requires players to find the suitable combination of character, kart, and tires that lowers the most important stats.
There Is An Actual Worst Kart In Mario Kart
When it comes to making a kart to-the-point-of-parody bad in Mario Kart 8, the first thing players want to consider is the character going on top of it. To make the worst possible kart, racers should be in the "Very Light" weight category, as these characters specialize into acceleration far too much and speed far too little. Furthermore, their naturally high acceleration can be hindered with kart and wheel selection options, whereas speed is not as affected by these things (case in point, Wario is always very fast regardless of what kart he's in). Players should thus choose the "Very Light" Baby Luigi as their racer because if they’re going to build a terrible kart, they might as well choose the coolest baby character in Mario Kart to play as.
When it comes to karts, wheels, and gliders, no other pairing go’s worse with Baby Luigi than the Steel Driver, Slick wheels, and Parafoil glider. The Steel Driver fails to offer enough speed to counteract Baby Luigi’s light weight while also severely limiting his acceleration. The Slicks and Parafoil further worsen these issues while also limiting Baby Luigi’s traction, which means he can’t use off-road shortcuts well enough to make up for his bad stats. The only decent stat the kart has left is handling, but because of the Steel Driver’s length and bulk, it’s still difficult to maneuver. All of these factors culminate in a kart that fails to do anything well, making it the worst on every track in Mario Kart 8.